You’ve come to understand that enlightenment is not for the ego, not for the thinker. So you’ve dropped the ego as much as possible and reduced the amount of unnecessary thinking in your mind by 90%…. And still…. Nada, no enlightenment. What’s the deal? Is it that you’re not worthy enough to have the great blessings of enlightenment bestowed upon you? Are you simply not ‘enlightenment’ material? Or is the very concept of enlightenment just a mind-made fantasy?

If you’ve been on the spiritual path long enough and seen through all of the tricks of the ego, then it’s likely that you already know that these questions are all bogus, but knowing something intellectually and knowing something experientially are obviously two very different things.

It’s true, I know there’s nothing I’ve done or haven’t done that’s prevented the shift into enlightenment from happening, and yet I can’t help but feel like there’s something deeply flawed about me that’s keeping the experience of enlightenment away. I know freedom is possible, because I’ve tasted it before, but I’m not interested in fleeting experiences anymore- I want the real thing, now and forever.

Well, this is good news for the truth of you and bad news for the illusion of you.

Good news in that every aspect of enlightenment is available to you right now.

Bad news in that enlightenment is ONLY available to you right now.

How is that a bad thing?

Because you’re identified with being someone who has to wait. Waiting means not yet, not now. Unfortunately, only what’s illusory about you is what waits.

So the question is not “how come I haven’t found enlightenment yet?” It’s: “how much truth do I still see in waiting?” “How much value do I still see in putting off the death of my own search?”

The false self after all, hides in waiting.

Ok, I’m done with waiting, does this mean I’m enlightened now?

If you were done with waiting, why ask the question? Are you not still waiting for an answer? Some kind of validation?

Freedom means no longer needing validation.

How will I know if I’m not deluding myself? How will I know if I’m truly free then?

When your direct experience of life is finally accepted as being enough of an answer for your questioning mind; when your questioning mind sees that any other answer it could provide would serve no purpose.

You’ve lived long enough to know that if there was something to find other than what’s here, that you would have found it by now. This means two things:

⁃ your seeking, although seemingly productive over the years, has been ultimately futile

⁃ Enlightenment (freedom) must be contained in what’s already here

So if freedom exists within what’s here, that means nothing is withheld and what is already given is being ignored.

But how exactly is this ignorance happening?

Well, why do we ignore things? We ignore when there’s something that we want to deny the existence of.

But why would I try to deny the existence of this moment? That seems nonsensical.

It’s not this moment that you’re denying the existence of necessarily, but the implications that you’d have to accept if you acknowledged that this moment were the only true reality.

If you were to fully acknowledge that THIS is all there is, then everything in you that you’ve taken to be the truth that has nothing to do with this very moment, would have to be false.

So it comes down to simply not wanting to let go of what’s false. It’s as simple as that.

I’ve spent decades searching for truth and now I’m in the latter stage of life. Is it too late to let go of what’s false? There was a period where I truly believed I was free, but after a while I came to see that I was just deceiving myself. Will I find true freedom before I die?

Fortunately, you’ve got time on your side (because it doesn’t exist). Therefore, realizing true freedom is not relative to how much time you put into finding it, but relative to how strong your thirst for it is.

When your thirst for truth finally becomes total, nothing will stand in your way… because you stop moving; you accept the entirety of the universe exactly where you are. You realize that all forward movement can only ever be child’s play… role play and nothing more. From that moment on you become a spectator of life, not a cast member.

I’ve seen other enlightenment teachers out there who still seem to have strong personalities- character traits that I’ve realized are undeniably unconscious. Am I missing something? I’m finding that this journey is stripping away my personality traits as I go deeper into truth. Why is it that some teachers claim to be free or enlightened and yet still exhibit strong personalities?

Because they’re full of shit.

I could try to soften that statement a bit more, but given that I’m in the business of actually trying to help people and not just give them fanciful ideas with a guru to pedestalize, I’d rather get right to the point.

The personality is pain. Plain and simple. Humans with personalities are in pain. Enlightenment teachers with personalities are still in pain… which means they’re not enlightened. Enlightenment (freedom) is the end of being in pain. It’s not the end of experiencing painful situations and circumstances, but it’s certainly the end of identifying with pain and using a personality to hide that pain.

A good example of this would a be a typical priest in most religions. The priest obviously resonated with an element of the truth at some point in their lives which provided them with some form of psychological relief, but instead of going deeper into that truth, they decided to throw in the towel prematurely and just told themselves that they’re free. They then dawned the robes, memorized the popular lingo in their spiritual niche, and began parroting enlightenment ideas as if they were their own.

How will I know that I’m not ‘throwing in the towel’ prematurely?

When you no longer tell yourself that you’re free or not free. When you’re free, you no longer have a self to talk to; you’re alone. That’s why you’re free.

It sounds like we go the distance to be able to yell from the mountaintop that we’ve found freedom only to discover that there’s nobody listening; that nobody cares.

YOU will care, and that will be more than enough.

You will see that needing an audience only mattered when you believed that you were not enough, that you were lacking in some way.

Remove the lack and you remove the need for an audience.

God is perfectly content being a loner.

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