Why Does Awakening Feel So Impossible? (Silent Transmissions: Issue #24)

Written by Kyle Hoobin

January 2, 2026

We’ve all been told that if something feels impossible, that it just means your limiting belief systems are getting in the way of you experiencing what you want… and… granted… in many cases, that’s true.

When it comes to spiritual awakening though… that’s a different story.

If awakening feels impossible, that’s because YOUR version of it probably IS. In fact, ANY version of awakening is impossible because in order for awakening to have a ‘version’ at all, it must first be based on a pre-conceived, pre-imagined idea that says who and what you really are is somewhere else; in the form of something else… a something else that exists at another point in time… apart from this one and only moment.

So most seekers of enlightenment shoot themselves in the foot before even taking the first step. It’s a universal error of epic proportions that we all share; a confused and troubled mind eventually becomes dissatisfied with itself and suddenly decides one day that clarity and ultimate truth exists and that it’s just a matter of finding the right version of it. And for a time, we appear to come close to achieving that end.

But of course, eventually we realize there must be some subtle flaw in our particular version that’s preventing true freedom from taking root. We assess and reassess until we finally arrive at a new version of truth that seems infallible and unbreakable. We repeat this cycle over and over again. Fortunately, even hamsters get tired of the wheel.

Let’s stick with that analogy a little bit more… the hamster IS the troubled mind that was once convinced that with just the right amount of effort, an end will eventually be reached where contentment and freedom will be realized.

But how did it all start? Innocent curiosity.

The mind (the wheel) was a device that was very different from the hamster’s normal experience of reality and yet there it was nevertheless; something easily accessible that offered a potentially different way of experiencing things. And sure enough, just that simple experimentation with it was all it took to begin the long journey to nowhere.

We’re all on a long journey to nowhere.

Your sense of hopelessness will depend upon where you are on this journey. If you feel that just a few more turns of the wheel will bring you to your destination, then hopelessness will remain on the menu for a little while longer. If, however, your tiredness is reaching the point of exhaustion, then perhaps it’s likely you’re starting to take your eyes off the path in front of you and are starting to turn your gaze to the side where an entire universe is waiting without an agenda.

And, of course, the more you take notice of this ever-present, journeyless reality, the more suspicious you’ll become of the promise that claims “just a few more steps… just a few more steps are needed and you’re there”.

Eventually, you’ll just stop. You’ll give up on the goal of fulfillment and you’ll step off the path into true fulfillment; a fulfillment that never left you, an unshakable freedom that you just stepped away from for an unknown period of time…

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4 Comments

  1. Gary Faber

    Hey Kyle
    Great blog. Nice done and your article on Why Does Awakening …. perfectly states the experience many have had. Me too!
    Much peace, grace and divine light to all.
    Gary

    Reply
    • Kyle Hoobin

      Good to hear from you Gary! And wonderful this speaks to your experience and to hear of it! 🎉🎉🥳❤️

      Reply
  2. Cheryl Despo

    Hello! Thank you for being here. I have a question about the remembering process.

    I followed the Christian path. After two years in a school, I remembered I am the incarnating soul. I found it very funny- here I was sitting on my bum trying to find union with myself- like I was ‘over there’ somewhere! And then everything opened up and out there was everything I had yet to know myself to be.

    It seems whenever I hear someone speak about the awakening process from an eastern point of view, (aside that I am unfamiliar with the vocabulary), this isn’t mentioned- it’s straight from the personality to Universal awareness. In one of your talks you mentioned a ‘knot’ and I thought ‘that’s me’! lol could you please explain to me what I am missing so I can better keep up with the conversations?

    Thank you!

    Reply
    • Kyle Hoobin

      Hey Cheryl, Your realization from your school days fits perfectly with your question- the message you were given is to trust your own direct experience of life regardless of what tradition dictates (even a tradition so deeply enshrined in our culture and followed by the masses).

      The teachings that don’t acknowledge the ‘in-between’ stages of spiritual growth are often easier to sell because then it just comes down to a simple recipe needing to be implemented or understood (which is obviously more appealing to those not wanting to do the often longer inner work of release etc.). As you can tell, my article here is directed to the exhausted seeker who has been on the path for a while and done much of the inner work already.

      Indeed- every me is a psychological-emotional knot, and this great process of remembering is a process of that knot coming undone. The way in which that knot comes undone (or opens up) is unique for each of us. Acknowledging the knot though is certainly the key as it’s hard for a knot to come undone when there’s a denial of it being there (to stop running on the wheel, there first has to be an acknowledgment of the wheel being there).

      Long story short, I don’t feel you’re missing anything. It sounds like your intuition is guiding you to follow your direct experience above all else, and that’s a gift! If there’s anything you don’t understand in future talks just comment again or shoot me an email. 🙏 <3

      Reply

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