(Awakened Origins Series: Part 2 of 3)
You’ve learned the mind’s tricks, but this is something different. It feels like something real — a very near and yet distant home still unreached. Whether you’re suffering, restless, or simply unresolved, there’s an unmistakable undertone of unrest. Like the search is still on, quietly running in the background.
Why?
Well, this is what happens at the end of the spiritual search but *before* the search is fully called off. It’s a kind of no-mans land; a bardo where any path forward no longer makes any sense, where the only thing you know to do is what you’ve always done… which is recall a strategy that brings a momentary rush of relief and release from pain.
The catch is that this rush of relief is muted to such an extent now that it’s almost becoming its own form of pain; a quiet desperation. In spite of this, all you know to do is recall your comfort strategy and hit replay… over and over again.
Fortunately, this final existential monotony has a silver lining; it means you’ve withered away the intensity of your lifelong search to such an extent that you’re now face to face with the fundamental mechanics that keep your suffering-based identity alive… which means all it takes now is to throw a wrench and watch it all come to a halt.
The Role of Past In Our Identity
The past is the fuel that keeps your identity, your personality, alive; that allows you to recall a survival strategy in any given moment tailored to that specific situation.
Most people think the past is something that happened. But for the mind, the past is something that’s happening. All the time. Much like when you look at a star in the night sky- the light you’re experiencing is coming from something that no longer exists.. it’s ‘old light’ you could say. Your past is ‘old light’ that appears to be coming from a living source… even though it’s just a trick of time and space. This is why the need for self-preservation is still there even though the first threat to your existence happened long ago.
How can my past be something that’s happening when I’m experiencing something new in every moment?
The moment is always new- it’s you that’s not.
There’s a beautiful line that you’ve likely heard before that fits perfectly here; “Behold, I make all things new again”, which of course, when understood outside of religious dogma, means that when conscious awareness returns to and rests on itself- when your consciousness essentially aligns with and therefore returns to cosmic consciousness, which is what we call the ‘present moment’, life witnesses its life force emanating from all things constantly because there’s no longer an illusory past or future distracting itself from itself. Life now sees itself being renewed constantly.
When you no longer buy into the illusion that you can leave the present moment, then all things are constantly made new again because it’s impossible for it to be otherwise- it’s impossible for life to become ‘old’… (if it’s actually life that we’re talking about). The past, after all, is dead. Even the future is dead. This very moment is the only moment that’s alive. That’s why liberation becomes the case when ONLY life is what’s experienced from now on… Death literally becomes a thing of the past.
How do you live life without a past or a future though?
You’re living that way already, it just seems like you’re not. Understandably, It’s difficult to see how it’s possible to live without a past or future when the bulk of who you take yourself to be is dependent upon referencing both of them.
You as the past have never lived in the present though, nor you as the future.
So who or what actually lives in the present then?
THAT is the question that can end all questions.
WHAT IS the present moment exactly anyway? Have your current labels of it allowed you to see it and understand it in its entirety?
What I’m really asking here is: Who or what are you if not the time-dependent personality? What is the present moment if past and future are removed completely from your consciousness?
In Part 1, I mentioned how the personality completed its identity by identifying with a belief in incompletion. This incompletion is what created a sustained forgetfulness of what your true relationship is with the present moment.
So when I ask “who or what are you if not the time-dependent personality?” I’m not asking you something that you don’t know the answer to, I’m asking you to look again so that you can remember.
THAT is how you begin leaving the past (and future) behind for good, you make it your practice to look again as often as possible, to continuously notice and let go of whatever superficial label you’ve assigned to the present moment so that you can remember what the present moment actually is… and how it’s so much more important than any life circumstance your mind is currently fixated on.
In a nutshell, the search still feels necessary because the “you” who’s searching IS a memory, a character trying to escape its own script of insufficiency.
This character will never know what the present moment really is. Only the present moment has the capacity to remember what it is.
This is good news of course… the character does not need to become free.
Freedom just needs to realize what it is.
Share this weekly newsletter with a friend, have them sign up for Silent Transmissions here: https://www.kylehoobin.com/silent-transmissions-newsletter-sign-up/
LATEST YOUTUBE UPLOAD:
Such tremendously helpful transmissions, thank you Kyle!
I’m so glad you find them helpful, John! ❤️
Thank you Kyle!
It’s my pleasure Mandy!